‘Til Kids Do Us Part

According to a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, a whopping 67% of couples say they are discontented with their marriage after they have a baby. Are you surprised? Probably not. After all, many women take on the lion’s share of both childcare and household chores, creating an imbalance in the home that stokes a serious resentment fire. As for the men, a loss of freedom and their position as the sole focus of their wives attention is a huge change that can create frustration or detachment. 

One thing I read while preparing for this interview that intrigued me was the idea that couples get stuck in defensive positions of anger, sadness, and withdrawal - emotions that become cyclical especially as the stresses of parenting take their toll. Finding joy, laughter, and the commonalities that brought a couple together in the first place start to become a distant memory which creates further frustration for both partners. 

With such a huge change in household makeup, are there ways that we can tackle marriage after baby which will actually strengthen the bond between partners and create a more sound, loving relationship for years to come? Let’s find out. 

With me today is Becca Stone, a Brooklyn and Philadephia-based psychotherapist, coach, and trainer, who works specifically in emotion-focused couple’s therapy, an evidence-based approach to healing relationships grounded in the neuroscience of attachment. She is also a mother of two and works with her husband running their practice, so clearly, she knows what she is talking about. Check out her website or find her on TikTok @beccastone_therapist.